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Learn to love the self is how you learn to love anyone or anything at all. We all know that in order to love others you must first love yourself, but why? There is no separation, that is why. You and life (others) are interconnected. Some take loving themselves as loving their ego and well sorry but that won’t get you love from no one. No one loves ego, except for the ego. Self loving is not a selfish thing it is actually the opposite. Loving the self means we embrace who we are even those aspects we don’t like or don’t want to admit to. In other words in order to learn to love the self we need to know the self.

Another spiritual cliche is who am I? Used so many times with so few ever actually seriously considering the question. If this question was asked and answered honestly viola instant spiritual journey. Two reasons why this is such a fundamental question, because it proves to our ego that we don’t really know anything and second because only we can answer it. This means one we need to learn but two we cannot follow we must actually understand for ourselves. We learn through communication, direct human contact, that’s right good old fashioned relationships.

So we see a cycle develop here, to love others we need to learn to love the self, to love the self we need to know the self to know the self we learn through relationships. No wonder we are so confused and relationships are often minefields we avoid. I’m dizzy just thinking about it.If we get caught up in anything we will find it becomes a mess. The trick is to find your center of gravity. That is when things get really interesting and life seems to flow a little better. How do we find our center? We have to consider it. No one can tell us who we are so we have to actually contemplate our life, what matters what doesn’t, our values and purpose.

What is happiness and how does our center make us happy because if it doesn’t then you haven’t done the work to figure it out. You have everything you need to consider in a real way the center of you being. People equate this with self-realization or enlightenment, ha we wish but they do so to actually avoid doing the basic work at all and putting simple things as like huge far off impossible goals they think are hard to attain. Finding your center is not hard at all it just takes a little time and the will to do it.

Once you have a sense of what your values and purpose is then you can make better decisions in your relationships. Even in the smallest ways when we are grounded we are not so easily led or manipulated by others. We can see things about relationships that we just didn’t notice before. Our feelings are no longer just circling around in a whirlwind we actually have an inner orientation that allows us a greater perspective. This is what happens when were open to learning. Suddenly content, quality and consideration become more important to us. This is because we have had an energy shift. When we have a center we are no longer pulled or pushed and we have a sense of inner fulfillment.

Loving the self is the essence of inner fulfillment. This is why we need to love ourselves first because without knowing what love is how are we supposed to give it to anyone else. We just assume that we know how to love but no one is born with knowing how to love what would be the point of living if not to learn to love? The ego assumes to know love and how to give it and as a result is the #1 cause of all relationship failures in history.


Learning and loving go hand in hand. They are really the same thing if you think about it. I cannot love without learning what is needed, or wanted or how my love is being received or the consequences of how I love. Loving the self will never happen unless we learn who we are, and that means being open to learning. When we have an open mind we have an open heart. Then we use our will to discern the information we receive and reflect upon how it relates to our center of values. The more we spend time learning the more loving we become. Eventually consciousness is so fulfilling that we find all our relationships full of love as well, at least some of the time:)